P.S. I Quit ~ A Step Closer To My Dream

Photo credit: Blue Eyed Yonder

I dreamed about the moment for years, the day I would finally stroll in my bosses office and say the words, "I've enjoyed my 4 years and 8 months here, but it is time for me to put my family and dreams first.... I Quit!" The months and days leading up to my decision to leave my company were tough as I flip flopped back and forth between the pros and cons, and would make up my mind and then chicken out when the cons would literally slap me back into my reality. Then about 4 months ago when my youngest daughter came down with pneumonia and I had to miss a lot of work to care for her and other family issues, it was as if God was making things really difficult to stay comfortable in my job.

I joined my company years ago because my then boss and team worked from home, and they were rocking it as moms in the office and on the home front. Then things changed a few years ago, and the flexible work from home model slowly evolved into the typical 9-5. I was very successful at my company, so I powered through the now required long office hours and ate through all of my paid time off to care for my sick children, sometimes myself and the many things that come up as a mom.  My stress levels went through the roof and it started to effect me physically, mentally and emotionally. I came home exhausted, snappy and no good for my family. I read a blog by Brenda Chapman, the visionary behind the awesome Disney Pixar movie Brave, who wrote about how she realized that she was her best self at work, putting up with lots of different thing and showing her employers her best self, but when she got home from an exhausting day at work, she took everything out on her family, they got the worst side. She writes in her blog article Balancing Work and Family, The Art of Diplomacy .."Why do I spend so much effort trying to make nice with people that don’t mean as much to me as my family – yet I don’t make the same effort with my family? Am I an idiot?”  She wrote how this was her light bulb moment and immediately made changes that would allow her to give her family her best self.

A light bulb went off for me in that moment as well, I had to make a change!   I began getting more messages that seemed to be shouting at me to make a change.  It's funny how they start out as whispers and then become screams and then finally you are faced with only one choice.  So I made the decision in my heart and an opportunity came about that would give me more flexibility for my family and more time to pursue my dreams with Empower Her Inc. However there was one catch...it would mean walking away from the success and money at my company. My dear hubby was so supportive of me, and knew my agony and how my job was taking a toll.  We ran the numbers and scenarios and felt that it was a good move that would put me closer to my dreams and have flexibility for my girls. The school season rolled around and I decided that I had to make the move as I wanted to be home when my girls got home from school and be able to give them my best self.  It seems like when you make a decision to move to another level, the enemy comes on with full force to throw every obstacle and doubt your way that he can think of. I was in tears so many times leading up to the 'day' and questioned my decision constantly, but my daughters faces reminded me of my 'why'.

I woke up the morning of my 'quit' day, feeling soooooooo nervous! OMG..it was horrible. I got the girls off to school and started my shower I was in full on panic attack mode.. I was like "I can't do this, what am I doing??!!?" Then I heard this voice say, "It's not about you.....It's not about you..."  At that moment I felt as if God put peace in my spirit that truly surpasses all understanding. I was immediately calm and heard Him say "This is about your family and the girls and women that need to be empowered in this world that is constantly tearing them down.  I put many gifts in you that need to be used..it's time to move closer to what I have destined for you." It was so clear, and from that moment on, I was ready to take that leap of faith that would change the trajectory of my life forever.  I never understood how faith really feels until now.

It's been five days since that day and I feel so free, and truly in God's hands right now. I'm holding onto His promise that He will use me for His purposes and be a lamp unto my feet. This quote from Martin Luther King really speaks volumes on where I am right now...I truly am on the first step of my staircase, but I do have faith that God will help me on this next leg of my journey, but I did have to take the first step towards the life that I want to create.

One of my dreams when I made this change was to greet my daughters when they came home from school, to do homework with them and just be a present and focused mom and wife. I snapped these photos of my new reality that I hope will encourage us all to truly seek God and have faith for the dreams that He has placed in our heart . To truly value and cherish our family and the time that we have with them.  I'm not sure what the future holds and I know its going to be scary and bumpy, but I feel so much peace, joy and hope for the things to come. Continue to dream big and take steps even if they are small to create the life that will serve you and your family best. My faith tells me that God will meet you right where you are! 

Photo Me after I quit..desk packed..ready for new things!

Me in the carpool line at my daughter elementary school..no more getting home at 6pm for now!

Helping my daughter with her homework that day..so priceless!!

Video of me before my moment..I have others of me when I was scared..but I won't post those..lol!

Let's all find the courage to do what we love and be our best selves!!