As my Mother's Day weekend comes to a close I feel lead to share a few thoughts about my latest steps on my journey to build my dreams for Empower Her Inc. Today is a special day that is set aside to honor us moms. For me this Mother's Day was a little different. I decided to take some time this weekend and have a mini-vacation from my motherly duties. I packed my bags and checked into a local hotel with my wonderful sister in law and had a fun 24 hours laughing, painting, partying and sharing with a beautiful group of moms who just wanted to take a step back and have some me time. I have never done this before on a Mother's Day and after a very difficult last 7 months, I felt like I just needed a break from it all. I know this is not the typical Mother's Day message that is shared on this day..but I feel that I need to be honest..that as a mom, wife and woman..sometimes it is just really hard and we need to take time out for ourselves to refocus, recharge and let loose. I came across this image on facebook and realized that this for me..would truly be the best mother's day gift ever!
After a wonderful night out, we checked out of the hotel this morning and I made my way home. I actually could not wait to see my wonderful hubby, two daughters and my doggy, Teddy. I came home this morning to flowers, cards, gifts and the loving arms of my family. I was just so grateful for that moment to step away and come back with a cup that was running over.
Since leaving my job in August to pursue my dreams with Empower Her, Inc. the journey has been rough. I fantasized about the moment I would quit my job and go for my dreams (see blog post), but nothing prepared me for the obstacles and hardship I would face after I took my leap of faith. I felt so much joy when I left my job to take a more flexible opportunity and have more time for my family and for my passion empowering women and girls. Within a few months of leaving my job, things started to crumble on many levels. I was faced with a close family member's sickness and death, financial struggles and many other obstacles that left me reeling and questioning if I heard God right to step out and make a difference. I thought that now that I was free from the 9-5 things would be easier but that was far from the truth. During my trials, I grew closer to my husband and my girls. Being home with them more, I became a more relaxed mom and wife, which was one of my goals. I greeted my youngest daughter every day at the bus stop eager to hear about her day and I was there for my oldest daughter during her transition to high school. The challenges I faced as a mom/wife and 'executive director' of Empower Her, Inc. during the last few months however forced me to my knees and in the arms of God. I have had to rely on Him more than ever.
I love this picture above, as it represents this stage in my journey. A month ago, I had to return to a full-time job to help stabilize my family. This decision left me feeling like a failure, hypocrite, depressed and upset that my 'leap' left me.. in my mind back where I started. I have been too ashamed to share the latest parts of my journey until this weekend when I decided to take a step back and focus on myself..not as a mom, but as a woman trying to navigate in this world that is filled with disappoints, triumphs and setbacks.
My dreams to empower women and girls grew from a place in my heart that watched my mother sacrifice her happiness to make a better life for her children and family. She came home everyday stressed, bitter and tired, never having time to focus on her needs as a woman and her dreams. I suffered as a result of her dreams being deferred. When I became a mom of two girls, I was terrified of making the same mistake which is why I work so hard to focus on my dreams and to make sure that I am taking time for myself. With the latest changes to 'my plans' (funny how God takes us through different paths to strengthen our relationship with Him) I have found my stress levels very high and this cloud of sadness and disappointment hanging over my head. I finally got to the point during these last few weeks, where I had to surrender everything to Him, my dreams, hopes and disappointments. When I reached that point and fully surrendered I have felt a peace that surpasses all understanding, and I now know that life is not going to always be easy, especially as a mom and woman. We must take time out for ourselves to exhale and draw on a higher power.. to be our best. I also realize that we have to be honest with ourselves and the people in our lives, that sometimes we don't have it together and that we need help. I am so grateful for my husband, daughters, parents, family and friends who have been with me along the way, praying and helping me.
My wish as this Mother's Day comes to a close is that I will continue, despite the obstacles or challenges in my way, to empower women and girls to continue to be their best selves. My wish is that women, especially mom's take care of themselves so that they can be their best to raise amazing daughters and sons that will be the leaders of tomorrow. I am hopeful that God will continue to use Empower Her, Inc. to make a difference in the lives of women and girls. I thank my family, friends and supporters for being with me along the way through the good and the bad. For all of you mothers out there, let's keep moving forward! Happy Mother's Day!
A cute message for Mom's as we wrap up this Mother's Day!
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